March 23 2009 a memorable day

March 23 2009. This day would be remembered for the rest of life.

Today is my last day in India. I came to India without expecting anything, all I know is that I need to travel because I cannot think well in China and I need to be in another place to help me gain back myself.
Because I was not expecting anything, it turned out to be a very good travel month. I met a lot of new people from all over the world. I learned some very good insights from the places that I have been to, and most of all I can say that India helped me to forget some things I wanted to forget. ( Hopefully.....)

While I was in Varanasi, I met a Spanish couple who shared to me some techniques to be able to think clearly. They shared the Chinese character "zhong" , meaning center or middle. They told me whenever I feel bad and confuse, just take a deep breath and focus on the word "zhong" and think that I am in the middle of the whole universe. Suddenly, everything would slow down and stop and it will help me clear my mind. I just think from my "zhong" with slow deep breaths and hopefully it will clear my thoughts.

Learning that really inspired me and made me recall a conversation I had with Ken, a very good chinese friend. I told him that I have met many people from different countries, but sometimes I find it really hard to be able to have a very good and deep relationship with chinese people.
He then shared that China in pin yin is written as "Zhong Guo", which literally means middle country. He then continued that some Chinese people learned some virtues from Confucius.
It is about being in the middle. He explained further by citing a relationship as an example. For relationships it is not good to be too intense or to be too cold with somebody. Once a person opened up his or her whole being to someone it destroys the value of the relationship. It is always good to be in between, just in the middle. With this I remembered a book I read titled the Art of War. It states that never lay down all your cards on the table. Once a person knows the real you it would be very easy for that person to destroy you because he/she knows your weaknesses.

Back to my last day in India.
Having learned the value of being in the middle, I decided to go crazy and do a thing that would remind me of China "zhong guo" at the same time will remind me of this whole India trip.
March 23 2009. New Delhi India Connought Place. I had the word Zhong Tattooed on my back.

I know this is a very fast decision for a Tattoo that will last a lifetime.
Right now I am young and the tattoo looks good on my back (though still a little sore). In 50 years time I will be wrinkled and old and I know the tattoo would be ugly and not a good sight to see in my back. But it will never defeat the purpose of reminding me of "Zhong", reminding me of my trip to India and most of all, my tattoo will always remind me that once I was Young, Adventurous and I was not wrinkled.

Woser and Hale

Today is my last day in my volunteering job here in Mcleod Ganj.
I took time to invite a monk for a chat after my job. His name is Woser. I have learned a lot of things from him.
After our chat and exchanges of email addresses, It suddenly rain. It was the first time that it rained since I got here in India for close to a month now.
When we went down to part ways, It was amazing to see that it was actually raining small bits of ice... It's actually Hale.

It is my first time to experience Hale. It is just a nice warm feeling having finished a good chat with a cold hale.

Something to add to my first things.

Mcleod Ganj at last...... I can breathe

Yesterday morning after a 14 hours of really bumpy bus ride from New Delhi I arrived here in Mcleod Ganj. After being used to the "slums" crowded and really polluted places in India, I was surprise to see a quiet, cold and calm place. Mcleod Ganj.
It is really nice to feel comfortably cold again.
Mcleod Ganj is in the northern part of India. It shares part of the Himalayas. It is so pleasing to see part of the snowy mountain while walking in their uphill streets.

I am not planning anything on this India trip. I just feel the place that I visit and decide on how long do I stay in that place. In most places I only stay a night or 2, except for Varanasi which I spent 4 nights just to get to know the place more.
Arriving here at Mcleod Ganj, honestly I want to stay here really long, infact calling Air India and extending my flight has constantly been bugging me.
Aside from the laid back atmosphere here, I have kept myself busy by volunteering in teaching english to some refugees. It is inspiring to teach english to people who really wanted to learn and at the same time listening to their experiences.


Last night, I was thinking of listing down my favorite cities in the world, for sure mcleod ganj wont be on the top list but for sure it will be there.
While I am typing this post, I am really looking forward to 4PM when I will start my volunteer job again....

Thank You Varanasi

I have been traveling really fast around North India. I have been alternating sleeping in some guesthouses, trains, buses, and guesthouses again.
I finally arrived in Varanasi, India's most holy place. Indians believed that the Ganga River along the gaths of Varanasi is a holy place. They bathe here to cleanse themselves. Many Indians come to this place to die. They believe that if they die in this place they escape "re-incarnation" .
I was shaken when I first arrived in this place. It was March 11, a "holi" day, it is a big celebration for Indians, they drank in the streets and spray paint all over themselves and to everyone else.
Roads were closed, and we had no option but to walk in the streets where Indians throw paints at us. It was a little traumatic walking with a girl companion. She was being harassed and touched all over by some drunk Indians.
Among the places in India that I have been to, Varanasi is the closest to the word "slums".
I stayed in the area near the gaths with very narrow, and dirty paths. People, cows,goats,dogs feces and garbage ruled the path. It is really the slums.
During my first few days, it was such a shock, seeing people carrying a dead body, to be burn in the "burning gaths".
Burning gath is a place at the foot of the river where they pile up stocks of wood and burn the dead person's body in the public and then throw their ashes in the river. This for them is the way to die and escape re incarnation.
I am not an emotional person, but on my first day and first time to see a dead person burnt down and seeing his flesh slowly melt and eaten up by the fire, I can't help but feel so emotionally drained at how they treat dead people. It was really painful looking at a person's body slowly melts until the bones are exposed until they turn into ashes. I can't help but think that these "creatures" they burned are once human beings like us who felt pain,joy, and they are once alive with emotions.
I shared this feeling to some travellers I met along the way. And through this experience I gained a whole new perspective about death. Here are some of their views:
Spanish couple (who lost their daugther) : That is just a body, we will all die and it cannot feel anything.
An interesting conversation with:
Carl(an english man traveling for 8 years): That is their way of life. That is how they see and do things.
Me: I just feel so negative looking at how they treat their dead relatives. In our culture we pay last respects to our dead and even make sure that they are laid to rest very well, with all the funeral arrangements and ceremonies.
Carl: That is our culture. We are just "beautifying death" with all the funeral and stuffs. But the end of it all, it is all the same. It just our body. It is just a "thing"


Aside from death and dead people being a common sight in Varanasi, The place for me is so intense. This is the first place that I have been to that I get so drained, so emotional, so irritable, that I easily feel so suffocated and I just want to shout "NO!!!!!!" to indian people trying to grab my attention and sell me some of his goods.
I get drained because the streets are so narrow, it is so crowded, and it is just full of animal dirt lying around, and poverty at it's worst is clearly showned in this area.

I remembered yesterday afternoon, my 3rd day in Varanasi, I just chilled in the rooftop of my guesthouse's restaurant overlooking all the narrow houses and the river. I was just lying around the wooden bed in the resto trying to think clearly. But I really cannot think straight, I just want to get out of the city before I get so negative. It was such a heavy feeling. I was drowning again with heavy heart.
I decided to buy a train ticket and cancelled my planned trip to Nepal to go to Delhi and see things from there.
Fast forward today March 14 2007
I met the spanish couple again while I was going for a late lunch.
We had a a very good conversation, about our feeling towards Varanasi. I told them the negativity and "blackness" i see in this city. They shared that they also get very drained while walking in the streets. They said that everyday it is different, sometimes you get a good feeling of the city some days it is just so negative, but that is the beauty of this city. It is very intense and emotional. The man who is a psychologist in spain even shared that some europeans who travelled in Varanasi from Europe tend to develop a minor "schizo" disorder because of the shock and the city's feeling.
At the end of it all they shared we just have learn to accept the city and its way of life. Its holiness, its poverty, its slums and that death is related to this city. Then we learn to appreciate and see things differently.
They also shared some things about positivity. I have high regards of the couple. Despite the tragedy they experienced of lossing their daugther. When they speak even with their poor english, I see a very vibrant color radiating from them. And after our 3 hour lunch, I completely appreciated Varanasi.
Too bad I have booked a ticket for New Delhi tonight at 12. I have a few hours left in Varanasi. After writing this post I am going to sit on the burning gaths again and see dead people being burn until their skins melt and bones exposed.

And this time I will see things differently. I will thank God for the time being. for the short time I am alive, for my family, for the people who I met and learned a lot. And I will thank God for giving me this chance to see death at another angle.
I feel a lot better now... Thank You Varanasi