3.10 my birthday
I don't know if its just me or its the same with everyone, I always feel sentimental on my birthday.
Growing up, kids always look forward to birthdays. I was also like that.
Our birthdays makes us special. We are to believe that the day belongs to us and nothing can go wrong. We own the whole 24 hours.. It's our day.
I wanna share my thoughts about my birthday.
When I was young, I was studying away from home. Me and my siblings were staying in my aunts house with our nanny. For students, march in the Philippines is quite a busy month since its the last month of the school year. It is the month when most final examinations are given to students before having the summer vacation. Because of this I spent most of my birthdays away from home since we were not allowed to return to our hometown because it is supposed to be the study time. I have gotten accustomed to it already. But despite that, I was made to feel special during my birthday. It maybe because of the special treatment each kid gets in school during their birthdays. Because of this, I always look forward to that day in a year when I feel special.
When I was working as an Investment banker, I took time off to make my birthday special by availing of the company's "birthday leave" . As much as I can, I try to turn off my mobile phone so I wont get calls from my clients. I just want to own that special day. I either spend it by getting myself a good massage or indulging a good food in a fancy restaurant. Thinking about it now, I have come to realized, maybe I don't really need the pampering massage, but I just indulged myself to pampering just to make me special on my day.
Things started to change when I leave alone abroad, Since I was alone, I kept my special day to myself. I did my thing at work as if it is a normal day. But I bought wine for me to celebrate in my own way.
Last Year, I felt bad during my birthday... so bad that I kept it to myself.. Last year 3.10.09 I was in Agra taking some photos that my guide took me to a secluded area to have a good view of the Taj Mahal when a stranger approached me and robbed my money.. I was terrified.
It was scary to robbed in a secluded place in another country, I was thinking that I might get killed if I fight back. It felt more depressing because I was used to think that nothing could go wrong if it is my birthday. When that incident happened, part of me wants to tell the bad guy to postpone the robbery the next day because today is my day and nothing should go wrong. But well it was a wake up call to me that...
Our birthdays are our own and the whole world continues and would not stop to make it special for us.
Today 3.10.10 I was busy visiting my customers at the same time getting messages in my phone from other customers either placing orders or following up orders or worse complaining. Just tonight I was on the phone for 25 minutes with a customer haggling for an extension for price increase. As she was haggling to death I am so tempted to cut her and tell her "please stop haggling I have been on the phone for too long and spare me its my birthday". Luckily I was able to control myself.
As I grow older, I am starting to realize that birthdays are not as special as before. And learning to accept that thought, I can say I am wiser.
The irony, despite the hectic schedule, and the toxic day ahead of me tomorrow, I am still anticipating to see the many many notifications in my facebook that uniformly states " XXX posted something on your wall"
Maybe I am looking for things to make me feel special on this not so special day ;)
Let me share a photo of a homemade cake I got from an old classmate
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